Ruth Walker: Nullius In Verba

The Beautiful Circles in Life

2011-11-02T22:02:00.000Z

So I was reading some blogs the other day and I learnt something that made me feel small and ignorant, and a bit stupid as I'm sharing the story. It wasn't anything significant, just a small fact that I didn't know. It forced into the fore of my thoughts what I usually have buried deep, that I don't know everything and what I don't know annoys me, will inevitably get me into trouble and generally have me feeling inadequate. Now, everyone has to cope with this same situation and for whatever reason this doesn't comfort me in my struggle to cope with it myself. I hate it. Not being aware. Being oblivious. Not doing my best because I don't know yet. That experience hasn't reached me yet. Even now, just then, I wrote 'you' and 'your', I had to stop myself, go back and put in 'I' and 'me'. Anything to distance myself from the issue. Other people have this issue, not me, I'm in ostrich mode. Well I do have this issue. And it will always be there.

As I say, this something I learnt wasn't hugely significant or obvious. It makes no difference really. It was just that I didn't know and I would have behaved differently if I had known. I tried to comfort myself by thinking of blogs I could write that would be full of stuff that this blogger wouldn't know...but I couldn't think of much...a no-go there then. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway.

It all comes down to confidence in the end. I will be enthusiastic to the Earth's end about things I'm confident in. All I need for my happiness and satisfaction is to excel at stuff I'm good at, work hard in the areas I know I can do good in. Practical, intellectual, emotional...in applies however you look at it.

I'm forever watching Wimbledon and wishing I was a tennis pro, oh you need to start playing before you can read...failed at that. Listening to Greig and wanting to be a musician in an orchestra, working with amazing people and travelling the world, oh wait, you need to start learning to play before you can entertain another person with your conversation...failed at that. Watching Strictly and wanting to be a pro dancer with the skill to express so much stuff through just moving (wow! hello!) oh but yeah...failed at that too. Why do I do it to myself?! I feel like a failure before I've even tried! Reading a beautiful book that provokes thought and teaches you so much about life or just your own imagination and wanting to be a writer. OK, so you need what here? Always write about what you know, things you've experienced. Not much in that category for me I'm afraid. But it stops here people! Imagination and creativity I can sometimes do. Is this enough perhaps...am I finally wishing I could do something then bloody well going and doing it?

And so this is what NaNoWriMo is all about. I must take my hat off to the people on the website for making it so absolutely clear that what is written during November will be utter rubbish and no good, it is pretty much expected. Unless you happen to be an uber good planner, which is OK, high five to you. I'm gonna catch you up. Positive paragraph so far. I'm on the road. That's the issue, this is the start of the solution. And here in the postivity stops again. There is so much riding on this that the pressure has blanketed my brain in fog. No ideas what so ever. Eek! I'm not expecting to succeed in reaching NaNo's 50K word count target, it is the trying that is the therapy here. I don't want or need the novel to be good, so go brain go! Oi...oooo....hello....yeah OK, still fog.

And that really is OK because I can look forward to the bit of the circle where there is no fog.

R.W

The contents of my drafts folder - exposed! (cont 3)

2011-10-05T22:41:00.000+01:00

6) It's not winter till Jack Frost!

I had a lovely autumnal walk today. The sun was out. The sky was blue. The birds were cheeping. Crab apples dotted the ground...I saw a butterfly!

Must have lost the muse that day. Or maybe that's all I needed to say. Dated 15.11.2009

7) No title.

I should definitely be sleeping. I'm more tired than normal because I have a throat infection (which the nurse I saw at my local GP decided to leave alone to fester all by itself. Ahem, yes. A rant for another day!). However, I am absorbed in re-designing my blog and listening to Rush. And now I'm bored or tired or both and don't want to write this anymore :( rubbish rufus bear! rubbish.

So I guess this was in the middle of the night. I think I just wanted a chat and there was nobody there!

Everything else in my drafts folder is now either post title ideas or something workable that I may still use. This clear out has come about because recent discussion on the hobby of blogging generally revealed to me that I have previously been blogging for my audience and not for myself. This clearly didn't work. I miss the creative outlet yet I can't think of anything to write. Therefore I shall try a new tack of just writing for me because self expression is a rare and wonderful thing. And now I can start with a clean slate, all the old chalk is rubbed off. ...poised virtual chalk...

The Contents of my drafts folder - exposed! (continued)

2011-10-05T22:28:00.000+01:00

4) Titled: Only Vanity

I rather think it is only vanity that makes me wish a man was madly in love with me.

Aside from my vanity it would be utterly tiresome for a man to be madly in love with me. Jane Austen has rather skewed my view of men. And not in the obvious way. Most would see Jane Austen's picture of men like this: a tall dark handsome man with bounds of character and feeling, suitably rich and in love with the nearest heroine. I have become so tepid to this view of men, that appears everywhere a women looks, that I feel it would be an utter drag to have a soppy man being emotional at you and demanding love in all bounds back otherwise he might die.

Perhaps I'm being overly cynical but I'd rather not have a man be madly in love with me, at least my head doesn't. My heart always will and what can it be other than vanity? I read and watch Jane Austen religiously and yet I don't believe in love. How can that be? There always has to be some other reason, love in itself is not enough.

I have to fight the idea that my life will start when I fall in love. How can I believe that at the same time as not believing in love? I must start my own life. Do my own thing. Be me. And yet we aren't meant to go through life as one. But as two. A couple. A team. Perhaps all love is, is a fantasy that helps us share our lives with another. A sort of all round trust and devotion that you would need to share your life with someone. So vanity is all love really is. Practically speaking, when it comes down to it, love isn't important. But Jane Austen argues the opposite of that. She seems to think you can have both love and the rest of it. I don't think I believe her.

I didn't dare post this at the time I wrote it and it's only out of honesty that I publish it now! And I can cope with that now because I have well and truly moved on. Since writing this I have fallen in love again and while I find it equally as confusing I have settled into a comfortable mindset, both heart and head, that it doesn't make sense but it is marvellous none the less and I shall just enjoy it. Dated 06.10.2009 (this better not come back to haunt me when I'm rich and famous!)

5) Autumnal Splendour and a Good Fry-Up!

Hired a car
Good b&b!
Hike
Invented our own path but a quad bike had been here before
River crossing
Walk into town by moonlight
Pub tea yum yum BRAINS!
Awesome sleep and another breakie mmm coffee :)
Weather lashing down
Drive to see scenery anyways, wind blowing water down the dam and into spray, we got drenched by it! We had a great laugh, much fun.
Drove to Hay-on-Wye for a nose around and lunch. Bought some books, wanted to buy lots more, a whole car full would have been good.
Had to go to Gloucester for my train, had a nose round the docks - very plush, nicely done.
Train delayed by a car breaking down on a level crossing - handy!

This is a rough outline of a post I was going to write about a weekend trip to Elan Valley. I wonder if my companion will recognise what I'm on about. I fear it is far to late to beef out this draft with the necessary detail, which is a shame. Dated 02.11.2009

The contents of my drafts folder - exposed!

2011-10-05T22:09:00.002+01:00

1) Titled: Things I Must Do

Go to the highland games.

Climb a monroe.

And that was it. Was I very unimaginative that day? Dated 05.04.2009

2) Titled: For Kate...

I cannot write you beautiful poetry as you can do for me. Instead when I hear an amazing song I share it with you. This song made me think of you, not exactly for the lyrics, it was the voice and the line 'That I would be loved even when I numb myself...' It is such a beautiful song. I listened to it again and again and I just wanted to say Kate, you are good, grand and loved. This goes for anyone and everyone who has troubles, and we all do, you will be fine because there are people who think you are grand and love you. I love that grand is in this song, it is very Kate! :) Anyways...here are the lyrics, but please listen to it...

I won't include the lyrics for reasons of space but the song is That I Would Be Good by Alanis Morissette. Dated at a guess 04.2009

3) Titled: The Wind, the Universe and an Odd View

Science...It has had a pretty clearly defined image so far. It is one of those many things in life that are there, I don't understand them, but they are part of life and you find a way of excepting them. They are important because they are part of life, but not important specifically to me or my life. So they sort of be, in a haze in the back of your mind. You know there is a whole train of thought there if you wanted to persue it but you don't because there are other things going on.

Science has, I think, always been one of the haze dwelling things that I have taken notice of because, well, it crops up. At school, in everyday life, in the news, and at home as my Dad and sister are science people. That's a very general label but I think they will know what I mean. Science never bored me exactly...at school lessons were boring so lessons on science were too, but science itself was ok. I seem to remember my Dad and sister having many conversations on science and maths, I suppose that must have been homework related...I wasn't bored listening to them either. I guess I remember because it all got processed in my brain as I tried to understand what they were on about. Having said that though science isn't a big mystery to me, I understand it. I like to think I would be able to do it at uni if I wanted to. People, or maybe just me, assume that 'arty' people can't or don't do science. 'Arty' is the sense that I'm graduating (hopefully) with a Bachelor of Arts. (Is it with a or as a?) But I'm breaking my own rule here, I do science. I seem to be an all rounder in that respect. It could just be that I'm insterested in most things, I'm rather a curious person really. I'm not sure why I find it so puzzling that people can be both arty and sciencey...maybe the BA/BSc distinction is enough.

I consciously made the choice to go arty and close the science door when I chose my A-levels. My grades were pretty similar across most subjects so I went arty because it seemed more fun and exciting, there was something tedious about science. The experiments, investigations, methodologies, results and the dreaded graphs and tables! It was more than this though. It's all so much of a social construction...but then so is everything, so why is that so bad? It's all so (pause because all the custard creams are gone and this essay won't right itself).

The sun and the Earth's rotation cause the wind. Therefore I am at odds with a couple of fundamental parts of the universe...oh goody.

Why did they not teach us about the weather in school? It's important to know, makes science more intersteing because it is something everyday that affects us all, we can relate to it. I have always wondered about the wind. I'm annoyed it took a BBC documentary about weather to teach me.

I seem to remember this torrent of thoughts came about from a BBC documentary explaining weather. There was one on wind, rain, and I can't remember the other ones. I found it fascinating. I have graduated with a BA now but I still don't know whether that should be with a BA or as a BA. Dated 28.04.2009

Why has the wit gone?!

2010-07-03T20:29:00.003+01:00

An empty white box...somehow I find an empty page of lined paper much less daunting. There is an awesome satisfaction about filling it all in and spoiling the clean lines. Perhaps I will ask Blogger to put lines in my text box!

Now I'm wishing I had an old fashioned typewriter to play with. Random.

Last time I checked I loved the freedom of typing on a keyboard, it's so much faster so I can get my thoughts out. Writing was too slow - I couldn't scribble as fast as I was thinking. Now I am wanting to write on paper and finding the computer a mental block. Maybe my thoughts have slowed down! Hehehe.

There'll be no living with her after this.

I feel cool...

2010-04-20T21:16:00.002+01:00

because I'm sitting hear watching Scouting For Girls on the Graham Norton Show and remembering the time I saw them do a gig on the back of a van outside my student digz :D and now they are at the top of the charts and on TV! Hehehehe

Quote blog

2010-04-15T00:42:00.001+01:00

Whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it is very important that you do it.

Comfort and Joy

2010-03-23T15:51:00.003Z

1) Cheese (mature Cheddar or Red Leicester), pickled onions, a decent salad and a fat pork pie. Summer time.

2) Pepperoni pizza and garlic bread. Any time.

3) Sausage and bacon in any shape or form. Breakfast time. (In a Full English...in a bap...)

4) Pie and mash with onion gravy. Winter time.

5) Toad in the hole with roasted vegetables. Autumn time.

6) Jacket potato covered in butter with tuna and sweetcorn, and cheese. Lunch time.

7) Ham sandwich with crisps and an apple. Spring time.

8) Spaghetti Carbonara. Tea time.

9) Fish and chips. Outside.

10) Who needs dessert?!

A Hug...Musically...With Tears

2010-03-14T00:28:00.000Z

I knew it. Do you?

2010-01-29T11:41:00.003Z

This BBC article shows what I have held to be true for years, statistics are a load of, how can I put this without swearing, all talk and no trousers. If you don't happen to think this, read it and see:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8486221.stm

Pottish Scoetry

2010-01-09T21:49:00.003Z

Through the deep snow we trudged towards our log-fire warmed local. Ordered tea, warmed ourselves by the fire with the help of hot pimms, quartered a bottle of Italian white which got sipped rather than drawn. Devoured said ordered tea and over coffee read over the pubs list of up coming social events. One of which was Burns Night. This uncovered a gap in my education and a remissness by the parentals. What on earth is Burns Night? Ah, Robert Burns. I've heard of him. What did he do again? Pottish Scoetry! pronounces my Mum proudly. The Admiral explains she got her mucking words fuddled. It has not yet been established whether we will venture out on 25th January to eat haggis and toast the great Robert Burns. However, I rather think drowning the wine would have been a better way to kill it and that I should perhaps have done it myself. These people clearly can't be trusted! ;) To be fair, witnesses will report that I giggled just as much...

Twenty Ten or Two Thousand and Ten?

2010-01-09T21:41:00.001Z

The festive season...things that stick out from this side of New Year would be mince pies, shopping, snow...freezing! (as in it's...I thought that a lot) and I have tickets to see Rhod Gilbert!! Yay :) Thank you Dad.

New Years was happily spent socialising...eating good food, drinking good wine...spending time with friends...I feel so much more like myself surrounded by friends...walking...amazingly relaxing and novel these days...pub...miss pub! Only went to two, feels like more! Well, it would have been three had it not been for the slightly stranded by snow incident.

And do you know what's bothering me the most about it being 2010 already? (How on Earth did that happen!) I quite clearly remember starting secondary school in 2000 and thinking ooh get me starting big scary school in the new millennium (meeeeandliaaaam!) then I think of all the stuff that I've done since then and I don't feel anymore grown up or adult than I did then. Well a bit I suppose...lots has happened...but I don't feel like I've got very far. And it doesn't help when you don't know where you want to go either. Ten years! A whole decade! By the end of the next ten I hope I feel more worthwhile, that I've done more, got further...I shall have to work hard in 2010, get the decade off to a good start.

Enjoy the twentyteens readers :)

Seems like a good job?

2010-01-08T20:05:00.001Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Supertramp...

2009-12-28T12:24:00.001Z

Bring It On

2009-12-27T23:36:00.002Z

Looks like I'm going to need my umbrella or maybe even snow shoes this New Year!!

This could be fun...

Hey, when in Wales...get rained on!

Soul ascending

2009-12-27T22:33:00.002Z

Three songs that keep my head up, up, up

1) Paramore - The Only Exception

2) Heather Small - Proud

3) Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love

Groooooove...

Chin Up

2009-12-20T11:31:00.003Z

I did not attempt to dry my tears as I strummed a tune on my guitar.

Trying to find some peace and escape, so bluesy.

More tears streamed as I looked instead in loud rock music.

Shall we lose ourselves for a reason?
Shall we burn ourselves for the answer?
Have we found the place that we're looking for?
Someone shouted 'open the door' look out!

Shoot high, break low
Aim high, shoot low
Feeling of imagination
Break high, let go
Shoot high, aim low

And now that magical therapy only saved for those moments when a bit of magic is what it will take, listening to my Dad's Hysteria record. There is something about turntables that says 'you are going to feel better now'

Next will be a trudge through the snow to see the ducks on the canal. You must try harder.

I will crank up the volume on the Leps for a while first though.

Windy Miller

2009-12-10T19:39:00.002Z

I started this post ages and ages ago about science and what I thought of it. This is sort of a tangent that I went down whilst ranting about science and the media. There was a series of documentaries on the BBC about different types of weather and how they worked. There was one about rain, snow, wind...it got me thinking that it was a wonder that I didn't know all about the weather already. It is such an obvious bit of science that comes up everyday. Especially at the time, as I was hiking a lot and had to think about the weather a lot! It's a bit of science that is actually relevant to everyday life and it annoys me that I didn't know it.

So, upon learning more about the weather I have discovered that I am at odds with a couple of fundamental parts of the universe, the sun and the Earth's rotation. They combine to cause wind. (No, that's beans!) Wind really gets my goat! There is no point to it. Just a freak happening of the universe. Argh! But, how interesting is that?! (the answer is very, ok?!) I could have known that for years and years but I didn't. Partly I suppose because I didn't think to look it up but for now I'm going to blame school.

Why did they not teach us about the weather in school? It's important to know and it makes science more interesting because it is actually relevant to day to day life. I have always wondered about the wind. I'm annoyed it took a BBC documentary about weather to teach me. Still I suppose that means that the BBC still inform, educate and entertain. A small consolation in a media saturated world where the media mostly talk out of their proverbial arses. (Is that the correct use of the word proverbial? I'm not sure)

2009-12-03T18:45:00.003Z

Ruth is doing DIY to the Peatbog Faeries! She will also have a mince pie later in honour of the Hiking Club's Christmas Dinner.

It's a bummer getting out of bed...

2009-12-02T20:12:00.000Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Quote Blog

2009-12-01T22:46:00.002Z

'The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions'

50. Just Listen

2009-11-28T23:11:00.001Z

Pawpainting

2009-11-28T22:20:00.001Z

Finger Steel Drums Are Better!

2009-11-28T16:56:00.001Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Lol blog

2009-11-19T20:08:00.000Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Lol blog

2009-11-19T20:07:00.001Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Lol blog

2009-11-19T19:59:00.002Z

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

2009-11-15T14:28:00.006Z

It's Sunday afternoon I'm listening to Sublime and thinking of mini muffins. Costa mini muffins which I bought at lunch yesterday. I didn't eat them all and as I've just had today's lunch now seems a good time to have one. They are the perfect size because they fit in your mouth all at once without making you feel like a pig. Yes, I do indeed have a mouthful of muffin right now. I was in Oxford visiting the Ashmolean Museum. The first museum in the world apparently, this intrigued me so I had to have a look. Its full of art and archeology from different periods and different places so well worth a visit if history is your thing. Or shiny things, there are lots of shiny things in the Ashmolean! Then I went shopping as you do. I found some awesome shops, Octopus was full of insanely colourful stuff and Scribble, a card shop, stock the best most funny cards. I spent £13 on cards...maddness!

This seems quite applicable to me at the moment. Bought books in Blackwells again. Bookshops that are like libraries are the best ones. Clearly because they make you want to buy books! I bought A Very Short Introduction to Philosophy, Choice Theory and The Meaning of Life. Yes I do normally try to avoid such questions, you're asking for a migraine! But I can't seem to stop thinking about it lately so I thought I would try adsorbing more knowledge and see if that helps. In the mean time I'm attempting to keep calm and carry on. Will I make reckless choices meanwhile? Of course I will so I might as well get on with that too.

I'm now listening to Calvin Harris, I only like one song of his and that's Acceptable in the 80s.

Most of the comments on youtube are from kids born in the 90s wishing they'd been born in the 80s. I was born in the 80s and wish I'd been born in the 70s. Weird huh? I feel sorry for all the sproglets born since 2000 or in the 'naughties' (stupid name or what!) because they haven't got fudge to be proud of. Musically I mean. Don't get me wrong there is a lot of good fudge these days. I live in the age of rock. Every now and again a new band penetrates through. But where's the new movement? trying something new? the creativity? Oops no lets not offend anyone! Does anybody even know they have an imagination to use anymore? Keep calm and carry on.

My Not-Yet-50th Blog Post: Thought Blog

2009-11-08T20:56:00.003Z

An intriguing question nabbed from Mum:

Why is there a tendency to read through magazines backwards?

A good mag is fab, my dream job would be a magazine editor. However I doubt other people would be interested in what I would put in a mag! Ha dee ha!

OMFG

2009-11-03T22:00:00.002Z

That ruddy M&S advert...you know the one, this isn't just red wine it's M&S red wine...the music on that is Albatross by Fleetwood Mac!! :O

Oh well!

2009-11-03T21:53:00.002Z

I can't help about the shape I'm in
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
But don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to

Oh well

Now when I talked to God I knew he'd understand
He said stick by me and I'll be your guiding hand
But don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to

Oh well

Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac

Watch this!! It is Amazing :)

2009-10-13T21:56:00.001+01:00

Paolo Nutini - Pencil Full of Lead

Playlist - Like the Beat It riff...

2009-10-06T19:44:00.003+01:00

1. Peatbog Faeries - Wacko King Hako
2. Peatbog Faeries - Ironing Maiden
3. Peatbog Faeries - Teuchstar
4. The Kinks - You Really Got Me
5. Free - All Right Now
6. Derek and the Dominos - Layla
7. Chuck Berry - Jonny B Goode
8. Basement Jaxx - U Don't Know Me
9. Def Leppard - 21st Century Sha La La La Girl
10. Def Leppard - C'mon C'mon
11. ELP - Tiger In The Spotlight
12. Greenday - Basket Case

I discovered Lily Allen and Fall Out Boy this week...well OK, I discovered I like them. Yeah, better late than never.

Midnight Magic

2009-10-03T00:44:00.002+01:00

Noisettes - Don't Upset The Rhythm (Go Baby Go)

All-American Rejects - Swing, Swing

Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight

All Saints - Lady Marmalade

(I know, viva la 90s! and now I fancy whisky marmalade)

NtB RG Eh?

2009-10-01T23:08:00.001+01:00

Rod Gilbert doing Nevermind The Buzzcocks?!? I must see that! What's he gonna do? Shout through the whole show?

This weeks playlist - Anti-muse

2009-09-30T23:16:00.002+01:00

1. Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart
2. Yes - Changes
3. Yes - Leave It
4. The Answer - Into The Gutter
5. Scorpions - Passion Rules The Game
6. Rooster - Unexpectedly
7. REM - Igoreland
8. Oasis - Stand By Me
9. Oasis - Fade In-Out
10. Greenday - Geek Stink Breathe
11. ELP - Knife-Edge
12. ELP - Lucky Man
13. Aerosmith - The Grind

To be played on shuffle obviously...

Mind Purge with Jamie Cullum

2009-09-30T22:48:00.004+01:00

Here I am at quarter to eleven trying to clear my head before I sleep. I spend all day fighting certain thoughts out of my head and when it comes to sleeping that gets tricky.

I've had a delightfully relaxing evening. It was about three o'clock when I decided I was going to have a bath this evening. It was a depressed frustrating afternoon. I got home, had my dinner which was basically, if I'm honest, one of those garlic bread baguette things. So nutritious. I had a slice of coffee cake for my lunch and I couldn't even eat all that. Appetite, wherever you've gone please come back, nothing is the same without you.

I ran a hot bath. I put moisturizing body wash in it that made it soft and silky. I put Enya - Paint The Sky With Stars on. I put a book by the taps - A Very Short Introduction to The French Revolution. I poured a glass of white wine and put that by the taps too. Bliss, with a capital B.

Afterwards, snuggled up in my unnecessarily bright pink dressing gown, I caught up on Strictly Come Dancing as I missed it at the weekend.

Yes, it would appear that I'm attempting this single life thing with gusto. I doubt I will ever get bored of hot baths with wine and a good book. I will tire of being lonely late at night though. As long as I don't end up like Lily Allen's song 22 I won't despair.

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job but it's not a career
Whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears
'Cause all she wants is a boyfriend, she gets one night stands
She's thinking how did I get here, I'm doing all that I can

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

Lyric Blog - Fade In-Out

2009-09-28T19:58:00.002+01:00

Get on the rollercoaster
The fair`s in town today
Y`gotta be bad-enough to beat the brave

So get on the helter skelter
Bowl into the fray
Y`gotta be bad-enough to beat the brave

You fade in-out
You fade in-out
Without a doubt
I don`t see no shine
Today is just a daydream
Tomorrow we`ll be castaway

Coming in-out of nowhere
Singin` rhapsody
Y`gotta be bad-enough to wanna be

Sitting upside a high chair
With the devils refugee
Is gonna be blinded by the light
That follows me

She fade in-out
She fade in-out
Without a doubt
I don`t see no shine
Today is just a daydream
Tomorrow she`ll be castaway

Lyric Blog - Stand By Me

2009-09-28T19:55:00.002+01:00

Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday
I`ve got a lot of things to learn
Said I would and I believe in one day
Before my heart starts to burn.

So what`s the matter with you?
Sing me something new ... Don`t you know
The cold and wind and rain don`t know
They only seem to come and go, away

Times are hard when things have got no meaning
I`ve found a key upon the floor
Maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find behind the door

Stand By Me, Nobody knows the way it`s gonna be
Stand By Me, Nobody knows the way it`s gonna be
Stand By Me, Nobody knows the way it`s gonna be

If you`re leaving will you take me with you
I`m tired of talking on my phone
But there is one thing I can never give you
My heart will never be your home

Lyric Blog - D' You Know What I Mean

2009-09-28T19:51:00.001+01:00

Step off the train all alone at dawn
Back into the hole where I was born
The sun in the sky never raised an eye to me
The blood on the trax and must be mine
The fool on the hill and I feel fine
Don`t look back cos you know what you might see

Look into the wall of my mind`s eye
I think I know, but I don`t know why
The questions are the answers you might need
Coming in a mess going out in style
I ain`t good-looking but I`m someone`s child
No-one can give me the air that`s mine to breathe

I met my maker
I made him cry
And on my shoulder he asked me why
His people won`t fly through the storm
I said `Listen up man, they don`t even know you`re born`

All my people right here, right now
D`You Know What I Mean?
All my people right here, right now
D`You Know What I Mean?
All my people right here, right now
D`You Know What I Mean?
Yeah, yeah

I don`t really care for what you believe
So open up your fist or you won`t receive
The thoughts and the words of every man you`ll need
Get up off the floor and believe in life
No-one`s ever gonna ever ask you twice
Get on the bus and bring it on home to me

Lyric Blog - Knife-Edge

2009-09-28T19:06:00.003+01:00

Just a step cried the sad man
Take a look down at the madman
Theatre kings on silver wings
Fly beyond reason
From the flight of the seagull
Come the spread claws of the eagle
Only fear breaks the silence
As we all kneel pray for guidance

Tread the road cross the abyss
Take a look down at the madness
On the streets of the city
Only spectres still have pity
Patient queues for the gallows
Sing the praises of the hallowed
Our machines feed the furnace
If they take us they will burn us

Will you still know who you are
When you come to who you are

When the flames have their season
Will you hold to your reason
Loaded down with your talents
Can you still keep your balance
Can you live on a knife-edge

Warning: Contains ranting detritus

2009-09-23T20:17:00.003+01:00

I'm cold and grumpy. And cross.

I'm cross because yet again the Rents have failed to communicate with me. (On goes some rock to easy my pain) Not once did anybody say to me 'we aren't here at the weekend' or 'we're going away at the weekend' or any of the hundreds of variations on that sentence. If was left up to me to put two and two together between a conversation about talking to some relative about other relatives and a conversation about me going guitar shopping by myself. Yes, obviously the conclusion I would come to is that my parents have planned a trip up north over the weekend, they wouldn't have mentioned this to me in conversation which would have been more of a clue, no I would totally assume that shopping by myself means they must be away for the weekend. Yeah because they come shopping with me all the time!

I'm sorry but the conversation about talking to relatives about other relative I didn't listen to because the Rents have been talking about wills a lot recently, which they need to I don't mind that, but I have been having lots of dreams about death recently so excuse me for not listening to another conversation about wills. I actually don't like dreaming about death.

The conversation about guitar shopping by myself? Well bugger, the by myself bit wasn't the operative thought for me. It was more like 'shit I'm going to have to play guitars in front of people in the shop and I'm totally pants at it' The by myself bit didn't really register as important. Hell, why didn't I think that doing something by myself, oh umm which I do quite alot, would mean my Rents are away? Clearly my highly intuitive brain just isn't on the same level as theirs. No wonder I'm such a disappointment.

I'm also made cross my the latest fad in ready made meals. Lets give people the raw ingredients of said ready made meals and let them bung it in a pan and cook it themselves! Each ingredient has been prepared for them so all they have to do is de-package it and heat it. You don't even need a pan, there is the microwave! What is this for? Seriously. What? I don't get it. I'm one for doing things properly. If your going to get a ready made meal you might as well get one that is actually ready made. Why get one that is half made and half not made? Oh its more like cooking is it? Good grief if you're going to cook you might as well do that properly too. Do you have all the ingredients in your kitchen cupboards? Will the rice you have in the cupboard cooked in a pan with water taste better than this microwaved in a plastic container rice? Methinks it will. I could go on but I think you get the idea. Oh my, pre-marinated chicken! How exciting. I'm sorry but the best fun I had in the kitchen was putting several spicy spices in a bowl, mixing them up, dipping chicken strips in it and watching them fizzle in the frying pan. And obviously the relief on eating the chicken that it taste good and didn't blow my head off.

Now, I would expect people who consider me to be a total stranger to now also consider me a total cowbag. To you I say, I did warn you, don't forget you don't know the full picture and I hope you laughed at me.

To those that do know me, I would hope you could fill in the gaps and realize that while it is quite likely that this is a real rant I am also aware of the insensitivities and am not entirely serious here. I am beginning to realize that those who know you the most are those that tend to think the worst of you. Maybe that is a Rent thing. I hope I am wrong. For the record, talking to relatives about other relatives and mentioning wills, as a canny reader might guess, is not a good time for the family. When my Rents and family need my support in this they will have in unreservedly.

For now I shall escape their wrath at this blog by being home alone at the weekend.

(OMG, I haven't even mentioned about having to learn to jab myself in the thigh with adrenalin! I must tell you about that next)

Transport Romance

2009-09-18T19:02:00.002+01:00

I read this lovely article so I thought I'd share it with you all. It's about locking eyes with people on public transport and thinking 'Mmm I fancy you' If you read the comments people have left at the bottom you learn that romance isn't dead. Of all the places it could have been hiding I didn't think it would be on public transport. Hmm, I'm spending between 8-10 hours on public transport this weekend...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8259645.stm

Motion on the Ocean

2009-09-14T21:09:00.003+01:00

It was half way through my second shower that I realized I'd had one today already.

I didn't listen to any music during the first one as it was at quarter past 7 this morning. This evening I listened to Enya - Paint the Sky With Stars.

'If you really want to you can seize the day,
Only if you want to will you fly away...
When there's a journey you follow a star,
When there's an ocean you sail from afar'

Swoosh

2009-09-10T19:40:00.002+01:00

I always seem to have a funny old week prior to a weekend full of plans. This week has been quite stressful. A tough job at work, tough as in mind numbingly repetitive, fiddly and lacking completely in satisfaction stretched out for a week, plus feeling ill whenever I try and eat anything is having its toll.

The music I added to my mp3 player is helping, it has the desired effect of entertaining me and keeping me on the near side of sanity. Rather than a little south. I've been concentrating on not getting anxious about eating being horrible because that would just make it worse.

Today I have had a much better day. The unspeakably boring job is still there but the end is in sight. I got all my meals in, not all in their entirety but hey, I felt less ill. I have been listening to The Chair for the majority of the day so can not be anything but happy - previously in the week the awesome cheerfulness of their music disgusted my depressed mind, but not so today! Yay :) I went out on my bike for half an hour after work to see if that helped my tea go down easier. Despite the shakey legs I think it did help. I'm so unfit, I really need to do something about that. All the hardcore cyclists kept zooming passed me ringing their bells!! No need to rub it in mate!

So now I'm looking forward to the weekend and hoping for that Friday feeling tomorrow. Off to Swansea early on Saturday (not looking forward to that early start!), seeing friends, going to Proms in the Park where I will drink an amount of whisky (but probably not excessive amounts) and sing along to all the songs that aren't in welsh :)

You see? It fits. My new motto 'make a bit of noise, have a bit of a boogie' sums up my weekend perfectly.

Music Got Me Feeling So Free

2009-09-06T15:53:00.002+01:00

One of the things that was like a metaphorical big red arrow pointing at a flashing neon sign that read 'something isn't right' was the lack of enthusiasm I had for anything in my music collection. It just wasn't right. I had a whole new genre of music to explore, there wasn't any music that fitted with any of my moods, there wasn't any music that could change my moods, there was nothing I wanted to listen to! And when I thought of something and put it on, it just wasn't right. I reverted to listening to the radio - which I don't listen to regularly - as I could get on with the hit and miss you-don't-know-what-you're-going-to-get style of listening to music. However I only listen to Planet Rock or Arrow Rock and there is a limit to how much I can listen to Rick Wakeman and Jo Bonamassa. And I don't mean their music, I mean their voices. Some old rockers just shouldn't be allowed to talk to people via radio.

Now that I am a smidgen further down the line of putting things right (I say smidgen because it looks like I've gone backwards but really a change is priceless and helps revaluation) my music collection is getting more attention. There is the inevitable influx of new CD's mostly folky but not all and the re-discovery of albums hidden deep in my CD boxes.

My mp3 player - I hate ipods quite enthusiastically - is getting a re-jig. Oysterband are taking a hit, as it would appear I had way more of them on there than I realised. If I put it on random all play every other song is Oysterband. So they must be shaved down a bit to make room for new stuff and some old stuff that I am happy, OK well excited!, to see.

New ablums added: The Chair, Huinka; Ollabelle, Before This Time; Braebach, The Big Spree; Ozzy Osbourne, Bark At The Moon.

Old albums added: Aerosmith, Honkin' On Bobo; Aerosmith, Just Push Play; Guns 'n' Roses, Appetite For Destruction; Jet, Shine On; Def Leppard, Euphoria.

I must admit, however, that some motivation for this has come from wishing to keep myself entertained at work. There is nothing like a good groove to get you through endless repetitive tasks. And NO I DON'T WORK IN AN OFFICE!

What's on your bedside table?

2009-09-05T23:31:00.003+01:00

I have an idea that the contents of your bedside table says something about you or at least provides a brief snap-shot of your life. This came about when I noticed the difference between my parents' ones! I happen to have two bedside tables at the moment as I'm staying in a double spare room at my parents house.

On my right there is a lamp, two coasters, four CD's: Ollabelle, Braebach, Lau and The Chair, plus the following books: A Very Short Introduction to Stuart Britain, Journalism, Eighteen Century Britain, The French Revolution, Science and Religion and Shakespeare, Digital SLR Cameras for Dummies, a Nicholas Sparks tear-jerker, The Post-Reformation written by my old lecturer, Science:A Four Thousand Year History, a guide to Haddan Hall and Women Who Read Are Dangerous.

On my left there is another lamp, three coasters, rings, a watch, cream, sunglasses, a hairbrush, nurofen, a hair clip, hairbands, a pen and a card that has a picture of a cuppa with a smiley face in it.

So, what's on yours?

PBF and TP

2009-09-05T20:48:00.000+01:00

On 13th July 2009 I, Ruth Walker, stubborn follower of nullius in verba, graduated from Swansea University with a BA Honors in History. In the presence of Huw Edwards don't you know!

And presently my life shifted, did a back flip and landed on it's arse. I've yet to decide whether the cheek was soft or hard. The fluctuations of time and space will no doubt tell me.

I am of course thrilled to bits to have graduated and achieve a qualification at degree level. It is inevitably bittersweet however as I watched the life I have loved for three years melt down and drain away before me. I miss lectures and seminars, I miss studying in the library, I miss being free to organise my time as I please, I miss bumping into people I know and saying hello, I miss going to the pub, especially The Tav, I miss the randomness of it all, I miss the plans and the trips, I miss being a student! I miss my house (good old 4BS), I miss walking out the door, going through the two parks, gazing at the sea, writing in my notebook, slurping coffee far too loudly in lectures, inviting friends round and eating pancakes...oops I mentioned food, I miss the ham salad from Coffee Culture in Waterstones (If you are in Swansea and haven't been: go!), I miss early morning Sunday fry ups at Uplands Diner, I miss ace pub food at Pub on the Pond...and those burgers in Revolution I had every Tuesday in my first year - I forgot about them, they were good too.
I am remembering all this with happy fondness rather than depressed glumness, which I am glad of. I have learnt that I don't have to forget this part of my life, it will always be there as a part of me and there are many many good friends to connect me with it that I hope will be a part of my life for a long while. Hope that's not too much of a bother guys!

So although I was sad that it was an end of an era, I had an ace time swanning about in my gown and mortarboard. The vain, self important side of me, which does exist I know, just loved wafting about in academic get-up. So much so it's on my list of reasons to do postgrad, I can wear a gown again! Small things, small things...

On to pastures new, I've yet to decide which, what, how and when but I know that this time I'll have old pastures to visit. That is in fact, I have just realised, the joy of history.

Bugger, I was going to end it there but I've forgotten to subtly weave in the meaning behind the title throughout the post! Sod it, I've had beer and I can't be bothered - the Peatbog Fareies and Terry Pratchett featured heavily in my daily life these past months and have contributed immensely to my coping with the transitions. They deserve something far more poetic and maybe I'll amend that some day.

Destined to fall for a drummer...

2009-09-04T18:35:00.003+01:00

Summer 2009 has been full of festivals and weddings. Lots of weddings and some engagements too. I say lots of festivals despite there being only two because I'd never been to one before so two in one summer is lots.

I asked myself why I had never been to a festival before and the answer is obvious. Before my second year of university the only proper music to me was rock, pure and simple. Although there are rock festivals out there, most of them are in Sweden, attended by rather scarey looking people, feature more amounts of drugs and drink than I can cope with plus anybody I know wouldn't be persuaded to come with me and I wasn't going by myself! I felt I was on the edge when I dragged my whole family to a Def Leppard gig...

SO, when I got properly introduced to folk music by some university hiking friends on a trip to the Peak District (I think it was the Peaks...could have been Elan...or Shropshire...) a whole new world opened for me. I have to admit I had the typical view of folk music being slow and boring and generally quite depressing. However, via the wonderful genius of Oysterband I am completely converted and a total lover of the genre! Yeah, there are still those bands that are slow, boring and depressing but there are also a great many that are pure musical genius who have something about their music that no other type does.

The Big Session Festival in Leicester, my first ever festival, showed me the ace combination of camping and music. It is amazing. Two great things squished together in a fantastic combo cocktail. The other great thing about festivals is the discovery of new bands...I went to Big Session to see Oysterband and try out the festival experience but discovered a whole load of other bands! Seeing a band live is obviously the best way to be introduced to them :)

Therefore the excitement for Shrewsbury Folk Festival built up and up. The prospect of camping, Seth Lakeman, the sunshine, the food, the fun and the frolics and all the new music! All to be hideously dashed by a visicous and extreme case of PMT. I have not had anything like it in years! Took me by surprise to say the least. Not as much as Martin though, who had the sorry task of putting up with me. I was a total misery guts apart from when awesome bands came on at which point a switch flicked and I could be happy and bouncy as normally I am! So, to Martin: I'm sorry and thank you for being so lovely about it.

Now for all those that I have recounted tales to of the things I do and places I've been will know that I mainly remember things by the food...I went to such and such a place and there was cake, I went to this town and there was this nice cafe...where did I eat that cream tea? Well, the food at the Shrewsbury Folk Festival was ace!! We had breakfast from a place called Good Health who were from Swansea (there name is actually in welsh but I won't attempt to spell in welsh!) and their bacon butties from Gower. It was lovely hearing Swansea accents over breakfast. There was also the Big Pan, which was a tent with two giant frying pans in it, they did sausage and leek hash - yum! The best one however was Pieminster - pie, mash and gravy in a box! I still don't know how the box didn't leak...chicken, mushroom and red wine pie oh yeah - happy tummy!

To all these bands thank you for being so ace and sharing your awesomeness with the world: Oysterband, The Chair, Braebach, Seth Lakeman, John Jones, Ollabelle, Megson (list continues in my head...)

Definitely To Blog

2009-08-23T11:40:00.004+01:00

Hello hello, long time no see. I doubt anyone missed me but I missed blogging. It has been a rather emotional time over the past two months. I split with my boyfriend of a year and a half exactly two months and three days ago. My whole world has been full of turmoil and confusion, so not conditions under which I can happily blog. Plus anything I might say or talk about would have an emotional effect on someone else so it never really felt right to talk about me and my life to the Internet at large.
So what's changed? I'm not sure to be honest. As time goes on I've gone up and down and back and forth and sideways and oppositeways. I guess I've simply progressed enough along the path of...whatever it is I'm doing...to be able to blog again. I'm remembering all the times I logged on and stared at the white blankness of a post box and then logged off again, and it feels odd to be writing, well it feels like talking, here again but I like it!! I'm looking forward to feeling ready to do all sorts of other things too :)

I've been a blogger since March 2009 apparently - wow! It really doesn't feel like five months...it doesn't feel like five months that I haven't been on facebook!! I've a few rethinks about facebook and whether to join it again or not, I'm not too bothered to be honest. It was good when I first joined it but it has changed so much since then that I don't actually like it anymore. I do miss keeping up-to-date with what friends are doing though and nosing at their photos! I'll just have to talk to them more won't I. I have found that I'm quite quiet, I'm not the greatest of conversationalists these days, I'll have to sort that out. It is the people in life that make it ace after all.

So, to follow will be some up-dates on what I've been doing or plan to do. Some of the nice bits from the past few months and the incredible transformation in my view of music...dum dum duuuuum

'Slporing!

2009-06-11T22:54:00.003+01:00

Thursday just gone I decided to go to Cardiff. Firstly because I wanted to visit H&M. I had been wanting to for awhile but I had a more substantial reason now as I wanted another pair of some uber comfy trousers I had got in the MK branch. This turned out to be more tricky than I had anticipated. For the first 40 minutes of H&M shopping H&M was not there! I could not find it! Where did it go? I knew it was inside a shopping centre so I went round St David's then Queen's then round again just to be sure. I was muchly confused as I thought they were the only ones. I wondered hopelessly along clueless where to look next. Next time I voyage forth to H&M say Capital to me before I go. It is the other shopping centre just off to one side where it hides from hopeless shoppers. The annoying part is I had walked passed it earlier but from the wrong direction to notice the big red H&M sign...sigh.

I marched into H&M having never been so pleased to get to a place when it got a whole lot more complicated. I very rarely go into a shop already knowing what I want to get and with H&M you really have to look to see what's there as they jam quite alot in. So with this in mind I went searching for my trousers, the idea being to buy a different colour. Oh but they had only gone and colour co-ordinated the whole shop!! What should have been a quick visit to one rail, pick a colour, pay and leave turned into a frustrating trawl of the whole place. I couldn't even narrow my search to the hangers, I found the purple ones folded up on a shelf! They never do that with trousers!! Arrrggghhhh! They didn't have the green or brown in my size so I had to go with the white. I would have liked the brown I think. I'm going to have to be careful about which knickers I wear now...I never do that...

After the H&M ordeal was over I moved onto the second reason for visiting Cardiff. Museums! As I am considering working in museums I thought I had better visit one. I chose the National Museum of Wales which is located in the university. It had a bit of everything actually natural history, art, geology, geography, the origins of humans and cultural history. I was excited about visiting a museum to see how I would feel. Could I see myself working in one? I'm not sure really but then it's only one visit. I wasn't impressed with the National Museum. Alot of the exhibitions were automated videos at full volume which just make you turn around a walk back out of the room. Others were dark so you had to squint at whatever you were looking at. I won't be put off, I have a list of other museums to visit. And anyway, it's no big deal finding bad museums because that just makes me think 'Hmm I could do better than this' and maybe I will.

Whilst in Cardiff I got a friend to show me round the greener bits of the city and the river. I love exploring new parts of places! Now I know where it is and how to get there I can explore whenever I feel like. I took the opportunity to have a sneaky peek at Sophia Gardens as it's right by the river. That's Cardiff's cricket ground where the first test of this years Ashes series is being held. I have tickets for the fifth day!! We couldn't go inside but we could see the stand our seats are in from outside - they are good seats!! :D After our wander I decided to be indulgent and we had dinner in a lovely Italian restaurant. Gorgeous food and accompanied by church bells too. I think we decided it was a practice session for the bell ringers. It was a perfect end to a lovely day. Now, where next?

Welcome, welcome to Mood Swing City

2009-06-10T11:14:00.003+01:00

I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac :) I have wanted to ever since me and Rhodri had our lunch in Bishop's Valley Nature Reserve by some camping hippies who were listening to Rumours. The glorious F1 season (so-far) for Jenson Button might also have something to do with it.

I haven't been on blogger for a while, not since 15th May! I have to wonder why. It is easy to assume that with exam trauma and the sudden ending of my university life that I haven't been doing anything so have nothing to write. (Never Going Back Again - love it, love it, love it!) I suppose I have been resting my brain, it is only right that it gets a chance to recover. But it is more than that, I've never had culture shock but this is what I would imagine it to be like. My brain no longer has to focus on what the men of the seventeenth century knew and understood of the natural world and what they thought of experiments and the significance of religion on their work. (You can go your own way, you can go your own waaaaay) That bubble has burst and suddenly there is the rest of everything to consider in whatever way. These things are not new, they were there before the bubble formed, but I have grown used to there being a barrier between me and them. Now though they are there and need my attention, they are familiar and I understand them but it is surprising to see them. I keep tripping and frowning but I'm steadily getting ahead of the game.

This is all very off-putting for a person that never seems to be able to put routine into life. Brushing my teeth is still a 'oh fiddle sticks, I forgot to do that' thing, even though I've been doing it twice a day for 20 years. Maybe I shouldn't count the first five, or ten.

So that is my theory on why blogging was abandoned. I always think a tremendous amount whilst writing these, it actually takes my ages because of all the thought breaks, and I have wanted to avoid thinking too much in case I scare myself. I have an odd feeling that bravery in required of me and I guess I don't want to scare my bravery off. Yes, exactly, it isn't very good bravery. If you see me staring off into the distance looking thoughtful or frowning I am most likely trying to persuade my bravery that it will be alright.

I am blogging today because the silence was too long and because it is a thinking exercise before I start profiling myself (ugh). Awww, I just gave my brain a warm up session before it's work out. Bless.

Chocolate Question:

2009-05-15T16:02:00.003+01:00

Can I cut it in academia? Can I be an academic?

I said I would never go into teaching...but if it's high brow then hey! anything goes. I know, if I had the courage or the confidence, exactly where I want to go in academia. This is an unusual feeling for me...I have a mild sensation of ambition. This has never ever happened before. There is no other reason other than 'I want to be good at that' or 'that's the thing I could be brilliant at!'

What's the problem then? Oh...the allergy to hard work, the last minute rush before deadlines, 1am conclusions, the lack of focus, the lack of drive, the inability to deal with stress that would inevitably come from further deadlines. That doesn't really count though as anything I do would put me in stressful situations and whatever I do I need to learn to cope with stress. Why can't I think of any better reasons not to?

Now I am thinking, as I furiously munch on my chocolate, are the motivations of a fresh but small bit of ambition and the lack of any other options good enough to justify choosing this path?

Headphones

2009-05-13T13:17:00.003+01:00

Well, here I am trying to revise in the library. I forgot my own headphones as I was getting ready in a flustered rush this morning. It is nearly impossible to do work in the library without headphones due to the noise levels and general personal lack of concentration.

As I really really wanted to revise this afternoon, no really, I really did! I thought I'd better ask at the Issue Desk for some library headphones. I hadn't bothered borrowing them before because they look old and a bit rubbish.

However! They are well ace :D They have really good quality, get your bass out! They are much more effective at blocking sound out too, as they aren't in-ear headphones. Although I am chuffed at the quality of these headphones it is a bit gutting to realise my own ones are so naff. It's a shame this type of headphones aren't as portable as in-ear ones.

Needless to say I've had the music turned up loud whilst typing this but I will now turn it down to revise. Oooh maybe I will enjoy actually hearing the bass of Basement Jaxx first. Shimmmmmmmy. I do a lot of chair wiggling whilst listening to music in the library. I hope people don't think I'm too crazy. The miming is worse. I actually punched the air several times on Saturday when Button got pole but there weren't too many people to see it - it was a Saturday.

I do love Stephen Fry!

2009-05-12T16:22:00.000+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/8045869.stm

Thought blog:

2009-05-05T13:56:00.002+01:00

Quiet music does my head in. But, quite often, loud music does other peoples head in.

To be brutally frank with you

2009-04-30T18:38:00.002+01:00

Bloggeration indeed! Today is not a good day for blogging :( Gah I'm so irritated. I finally figured out why my blog previously had an apparently ingrained grammar problem. I could not fathom why my name at the top was all lower case instead of capitalised like I had typed it. I only wanted the first letter of my first name and surname capitalised...is that so much to ask? Good grief, it was sooooo not worth fixing!

Ok, so the reason for the grammar problem was the template I chose. I'd ignored the lower case-ness before but today I thought I would fix it. I would pick a different template and put my original colour scheme back in and all would be fine. Yeah right! Firstly I chose the other template that was with the original one, because I liked the background highlighting of the post titles. I figured it wouldn't be that different. It was quite different, enough to cause trouble anyways! The automatic colour scheme was orange, bad yukky orange. This, it would seem, got in the way of my creative juices and I promptly forgot what my original colour scheme was. All I know is that it totally kicked ass. Oh how I lament its passing! Never to be seen again!....what?! It was important to me, I liked it...harrumph.

I took a disliking to this new template then and proceeded to check out all the other ones. I tried a few but none where as good, or had the post title highlighting and there was something or other wrong with them all. So I had two choices. Either I went back to the original, put up with the bad grammar and try to recreate my lost ingenious colour scheme. Or, I went with the yukky orange, got the post title highlighting but would have to battle to get my creative edge implanted on the colour scheme. Suffice to say, I defeated the orangey block on my creative juices and the results are what you see now. I'm not sure it's as good. But we'll see how this now fragile relationship with this blog goes...(I have just remembered I have a charged-up MP3 player in my handbag and I'm now listening to Straighten Up and Fly Right. Thank you lady beside me for fiddling with your headphones)

As it turns out this blog originally started out like this (refer to the title of the post if you get confused):

It is just a phrase, and I like it. It has meaning behind it, connotations. It conjures up instantly an image, or thought, an imagining. It's like magic in words, by words.

I rather like to use these sorts of phrases when I come across them. And I like the idea of using this one as a blog title. The reader will think I'm about to embark on a monologue about something or other and be brutally frank. I hope you're not disappointed to be reading my ramblings. *Mutley laugh* You are, however, (I add in later) now greeted by my perhaps-not-brutally frank views on blog colour schemes - how amusing.

It would normally be brutally honest wouldn't it? But I like frank better. Honest has a negative vibe...it is good to be honest but it's sort of associated with admitting, bad behaviour, the sort of truth that hurts. Whereas frank is a little more positively personified. It's being up front and the kind of honest that is trustworthy. Frank is getting it straight, no funny business. I knew a guy called Frank once, I wonder what happened to him. I played monopoly with him in the hallway when I was younger, with him sitting on the front doorstep. I remembered this the other week you see, and it is awfully odd! Oh Mum, why ever did you not let us play in the house? It conjures up such a funny picture now I don't actually mind!

Anyway, back to brutally frank. I came across it in the book I'm reading at the moment. A very ace fantastic pass-time to have back!! I have a whole pile of books to read and it makes life that bit more exciting. I can look forward to the adventures within them rather than stare at their spines and lament the boring activity I am currently doing. Good grief me, would you focus on one thing at a time!? (Ah yes that being another phrase I recently remembered...)I've been wondering why the author uses 'frank' instead of 'honest'. As far as I can tell the character that says it, as it's his catch phrase, has no reason to say it wrong. I haven't figured out whether this character is honest or not himself...I'm thinking not at the moment but we'll see. Maybe I will let you know.

Post dissertation weekend!

2009-04-27T15:17:00.000+01:00

I have had a whole weekend completely free of any work!!! I'm back to it vigorously now, as it's Wednesday, but I can still write my blog...right?

I slept most, ok all, of Saturday morning as I was up till about 2am. I was still excitable and energetic from dancing in the Tav :D Saturday afternoon involved cooking pasta salad and muffins for the bbq in the evening. The bbq was further celebration of Karl now being Dr Karl. As it was in Mumbles we left about 5.30 because it takes a good hour to get there. It was really windy and a bit rainy...I really hate that combination of weather. I got really grumpy and irritable but somehow Rhodri has found a marvelous way of making me laugh and I forget about being grumpy.

So we got to YC's bbq and munched on the usual delicious food, played mini pool and chatted with friends. To be honest I'm finding it hard to write about the bbq because the walk there and back was so horrible it sort of overshadows it. The wind and rain was much much worse on the way back. The wind was behind us so it could have been lots worse but it blew over my right shoulder at an angle so my right eye got soaked and the rest of my face was fine. My shoes still haven't dried out yet!

Sunday's walking was very definitely more enjoyable. The hiking club were walking to St David's from the other side of Solva. We went to Uplands Diner for a decent breakfast as it would take one and a half hours to get to Pembrokeshire. I slept for most of the journey there - the only reason I could get up at 7pm was the promise of a nap between nine and ten! There was beautiful sunshine when we arrived at our starting point. The constant up and down of coastal walking was a little hard going at first, but I steadily got into it. So much so that the hiking chairladyperson called me 'a mountain busting machine'! That didn't get me skipping along but I thought I'd better stay near the front after that to keep up pretenses.

This particular bit of the Pembrokeshire coast is plastered in lovely yellow gorse bush. Obviously there are also green pastors and grey jagged cliffs but it was the gorse that kept my attention. It seemed that for the whole eight miles every bit of gorse had one type or other of little brown birds in it. They were everywhere! I heard my first skylarks of the year too. We had our lunch in Solva, which is a quaint little village that has a sort of harbour thing made from the cliffs. The tide goes all the way into the village. There are many boats anchored in it and when the tide goes out all the boast end up perched on the sand. It is rather eerie, but I would love to watch the tide com back in and see all the boats re-float.

St David's is a lovely place too. I briefly looked round the cathedral, a book shop and tried to find some ice-cream. No luck there so I had coffee cake instead. Once we got home, I had a shower and M came over and made the veg to go with Rhodri's toad in the hole. Major nom nom nom. After discussing the finer points of not getting stung by apparently-not-poisonous jellyfish over card games, we slept soundly.

To say the least, going to university on Monday was a shock and I didn't like it. Although I am rather enjoying studying new things that have nothing to do with dissertations. Learning is fun :)

Friday continued: The mini mosh pit in the Tav

2009-04-27T14:34:00.000+01:00

After the seminar of Friday afternoon, I half started to make plans for a cinema trip that evening. I still haven't seen The Boat That Rocked! However, an old hiking club member and good friend to everyone had passed his viva that morning and would be in the Uplands Tavern celebrating. The first of several friends to become a doctor! Bit freaky...

So me and Rhodri grabbed some fish and chips and went over to the Tav. We congratulated the good Doctor, got some drinks in and sat about chatting. As is usual at the Tav there was going to be live music later on. Sometimes it can be too loud for chatting so we were doing that while we could. At about 9ish the band started up. The Tav was pretty full and the equipment on the stage look proper and the drumming through the sound checks was very good, which all told me they were probably an ace band. As it turns out they were a fantastic covers band! It wasn't too loud for chatting as it turned out, so we sat about guessing the songs and jigging about in our seats for a while.

A few of our group had disappeared to have a dance in front of the stage and they set out on a campaign to get as many of us dancing with them as possible. It was a well planned and executed campaign too! About 6 or 7 of us, including me, were up there for most of the set dancing away! Well, we were all very happy (not a polite phrase for drunk) and the songs were good. They were all bouncy up-beat tunes that were ace for dancing :) It was seriously the most fun any of us had had in the Tav before. And when Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit got played it all went a bit mad and I was moshing, skanking and jumping about like I was 14 again! The lead singer managed three encores after pretending to be Kurt Cobain, so hats off to him.

I seem to remember theme parks coming up in the conversation at some point. As all my friends found out, I have never been to one. YC in particular is very keen on them! I think he is determined to get me to Alton Towers...apparently I will love it...I'm not so keen on stomach in my mouth stuff...it's not pleasant...that's another thing we'll have to see about.

Post dissertation

2009-04-27T13:31:00.000+01:00

Immediate post dissertation, when it was at the binders and there was nothing else I could do, involved sleeping. Well, a stroll in the park to marvel at the world that I had been missing then a long late afternoon nap. Sprawled, face down, star-fish shaped on the bed :) Needless to say I had a lie-in the next morning and left it to the last minute to go to uni and hand the dissertation into the office. That was a very quick shower!

The rest of the day was heavenly because it was slow. I ambled! It was so lovely. I ambled to town, I ambled round M&S, casually got fleeced £33 for a tankini, ambled home, ambled to uni and then zoomed to LC2 as I was in a car. Me and three girlfriends went to the spa, the wet-spa. I've never been before and it was indeed wet, but surely all of them are wet? Anyways, it was a period of new social situations and improvising the right thing to do as I went along. As I'd never been to a spa before and it's been years since I went swimming, I firstly had to get the right swim wear. A one-piece swimming costume was a definite no, some remnant feeling from childhood of major discomfort and a feeling of being incredible exposed. I've never owned a bikini before either, no less exposed but a hope that they are more comfortable. I was really nervous picking one out and trying it on. I haven't been so nervous about myself in ages so it was strange but I was able to tell myself to get on with it. There is nowhere to hide in swim wear, which is what made me nervous. I went with a tankini just to spite the lack of material. I will of course have to go swimming lots to make it worth £33 (there wasn't that much more material!) Well we'll have to see about the swimming...

So, we're in the changing rooms, not been in one of those in yonks, glad to note cubicles for showering but not for generally changing clothes. Just rows of lockers and benches and many many people! Oh why is this necessary!? i thought to myself. It would make sense had it been a gym changing rooms perhaps, I wouldn't mind changing into jogging bottoms in front of other people. I do not, however, have a desire to take my underwear off in front of people. Harrumph! After much faffing with a towel and awkward positions I was clad in my blue tankini. I was glad to learn I had brought the right thing, the girls liked it and it was very comfortable.

On to the wet-spa! It had an air of relaxation and indulgence. There were two reclined seats that were heated, a jacuzzi, two monsoon showers, steam room, sauna room and aromatherapy room. The session was only meant to be an hour I think but we were there for almost two, doing circuits of everything. We tried out the jacuzzi first, which was ultimately relaxing and sort of massaging at the same time. Bubbles in water is an ace idea! Then we went in the sauna room - ouch! They are a lot hotter than I expected. It wasn't so much being hot, I didn't mind that, it was nice not uncomfortable. It was breathing hot air that was uber weird. My nose stung! A similar thing happened in the stream room too. Breathing hot steam is just a weird feeling. A deluge of cold water from the monsoon shower after being hot is lovely and very refreshing. The last thing we tried was the aromatherapy room. Mmmmmm :) Lovely warm and it smelt of Christmas! Orange and cinnamon to be more precise but it is definitely the Christmas smell. And then we did it all again!

I was a bit sceptical about whether I would like the whole spa experience. Mainly because usually my skin and water are at odds, which results in discomfort. But it was totally fine. I loved it! And it probably does my skin much more good than bad. My girlfriends were pleased to have converted me to a spa goer, we all treasure our girly times together. Shopping, spa, coffee, pub! :)

The next day wasn't much of a break as I had a seminar in the afternoon. I still had a lie-in, did some prep for the seminar and went to sign up. I haven't been for ages and I hadn't been on a walk in months either. But me and Rhodri had decided to go on the walk on Sunday so we went along to sign up for that. The seminar in the afternoon went well. I was a bit nervous because it was on the subject I was the relative expert on in the group. Robert Hooke, the Royal Society and experimental instruments, all of which featured in my dissertation! I really didn't want to show myself up...as it goes my fellow students of the history of science were as clueless and mute as ever so I didn't have to say much to seem like I knew my stuff. It is rather like bouncing ideas of a brick wall except you can't punch people...

Coffee on tap

2009-04-18T14:22:00.001+01:00

I'm looking forward to:

There she stood in the street, smiling from her head to her feet.
I said Hey what is this, now baby maybe, maybe she's in need of a kiss
I said Hey what's your name baby, maybe we can see things the same
Now don't you wait or hesitate, lets move before they raise the parking rate.

All right now, baby its a al lright now
All right now baby its a all right now.

Let me tell you now

I took her home to my place watching every mood on her face
She said look what's your name baby, are you trying to put me in shame
I said slow, don't go so fast, don't you think that love can last
She said love, lord above, now you're trying to trick me in love

All right now, baby its a all right now
All right now, baby its a all right now

I said don't you know?
We're so happy together.

Exam and stress free summer, flowing dresses, flowers, heat, frolicking, books, music, H-A-P-P-Y!!!

There are no words...

2009-04-17T18:25:00.000+01:00

Err

Umm

DUH

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8004975.stm

Coffee in a Comfy Mug and Hobnobs Creams

2009-04-10T16:02:00.000+01:00

This dissertation is going down!

By way of mark accumulation.

Mark accumulation is sponsored by Hobnob Creams.

Crazy Career Thought Train

2009-04-05T19:12:00.000+01:00

So to continue my career train of thought I began in the cafe last week...

I could stay in university and continue history. Possibly do an MA in Early Modern History. I've really got into that period especially the history of science. Advantages to that would be a higher qualification and more skills, and also more practiced skills. Disadvantages would be that I still wouldn't be any further in my career. I'm not particularly bothered about having an awesome career, as long as I can do something, and do something well that I can get paid for. Although, to prevent me having the same problem in a years time I could also spend that year getting experience at different things and deciding where to go afterwards before I finish! That is something I would definitely have to do if I did an MA.

I could become a writer/journalist. Either straight off, do a graduate on-the-job training, or get further qualifications for that specific job. I could also do this after an MA in History...but it would be rather indulgent doing an MA in History just for the fun of it and put off getting a proper career for a year!

I have also thought of publishing/editing as I said in an earlier post. I think this is something I might drift into later on in my career rather than setting out to purposely do it. I am more of a writer myself than editing or publishing other peoples.

I am hopefully doing an excavation as a volunteer in the summer. So that will give me a small idea what archeology is like. That can go into the thought mix as well if I like it. Doing the MA in History would work in that case.

Oh, I've persuaded myself many times over to do the MA but then I have a tough time justifying it afterwards. It would be a lot of hard work and with my difficulties in self-motivation it would be risky.

So I need to decide whether doing the MA is really what I want to do or whether it's just a way of hiding from the next big step into the scary world of work.

And I'm not the only one! There are so many graduates in the same boat - not having a clue what to do with themselves, what is the best thing to do with themselves. This is much worse than when you're 16! Then I was stupefied by the decisions I had to make, people telling me this will shape the rest of my life, get it right, blah blah blah. At least then you had set options. It was between a few things. Now I can give myself as many options as I like! Obviously, I try not to take my situation for granted. It was not all that long ago when people my age had no choice what so ever. But I do struggle. In a way its a new cultural situation...young people being able to do anything they like with their lives. Here, have a life! Do what you want and make the best of it.

Gee, thanks. What is this life's purpose? What is my purpose? What is the best thing exactly? There is the best thing now and there is the best thing in hindsight. Which one do I aim to please? I know that in 3, 5, 8 years time I will be a very different person. So how am I supposed to make decisions that will effect that person way more than it will effect me? But then every decision I do make changes who that person is going to be...It's like trying to drive along a road you've never been down before, in the thickest pea-souper, without white lines and lots of deep ditches and prickly hedges to fall into. There is very little to go on. What is my identity? What is my place? What do I need to do? What are my responsibilities? How do I fit into this world? I'm quite small and insignificant so does it even matter? Would these white lines on the road even help? What questions do I need to ask?

By this point in my crazy career thought train, the stuff I started with becomes a bit small and insignificant too so I should just pick one and it won't matter....just do something. Get on with this strange life I don't know what to do with.

I hope I don't waste it.

Jenson Button

2009-04-04T22:27:00.000+01:00

I'm well excited about Formula One this year! You might not think I'm the sort of person to get into sports, or motor sports, but my Dad watched it whilst I was growing up so I knew what was going on to some extent. This is also true for rallying but where has that gone? Maybe a digital channel...

In recent years I kept an eye on what was going on at the beginning of the F1 seasons but I never really got into any of them...Schumacher, silly rules, boring races, predictable blah blah blah.

The 2009 season has got off to an awesome start!! How ace is Jenson Button and Brawn GP! I'm excited by their achievments firstly because Button has been through alot and he deserves success, not only because he has had a tough time but also because he is a good driver and talented at what he does. Secondly, a British driver and a British team!! You can't help but get behind a British team. It's well good having something to follow, get behind and believe in.

Nneeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Zooooooooooom!! :D

Go Jenson Button!!

Wifi-ing in the cafe

2009-04-03T13:33:00.000+01:00

All this British Library research and commuting to London three days in a row has got me thinking about the future and careers.

Obviously staying in academia and researching history is an option...I'm getting a small taste of it now. There is sort of a non-feeling at the moment. I'm not miserable or hating this, I'm not all excitable and happy either. I'm doing it and it's nice but is that because I know it's only lasting a few days? There are clearly pro's in this business - those who have security cables for their laptops and tie them to the desk lamps, and then me who runs to and from her locker, to her seat in the Rare Books Reading Rooms, to the cafe, all with a laptop and an ever changing bag depending on where she's going.

My coat is the only thing that doesn't move, well neither do my pencil and papers once they hit the desk, which is ok. But when there is a fire alarm and you have to stand outside for 40 minutes a coat would have been nice! Many people went to Starbucks. I sat on a freezing cold stone and my bum went completely numb!
Fire alarms aren't as loud as they were in school...I think it's because in most other places the rooms aren't small and numerous. The rooms are bigger, so there is more space for the sound to go making it less loud. Surely they should adjust the volume to suit the room size...I want my fire alarm to be ear splinteringly loud. You don't want to be mistaking it for random beeping or a very loud telephone.

Whoops this lunch break has been tooooo long! I shall have to carry on my careers train of thought later, I got a little side tracked hehehe

The Mechanical Pencil dilemma

2009-04-02T13:30:00.000+01:00

I’ve discovered the reason for mechanical pencils. I thought they were silly, and occasionally the people that use them. But go to an archive library and all becomes clear. Rules of conservation create the situation where a mechanical pencil is the single most useful thing. No pens are allowed. Frantic research scribble means the pencil needs sharpening more frequently than is convenient, technically pencil sharpeners aren’t allowed either (it depends where you go) and where would you put the shavings? There doesn’t seem to be anywhere sensible in this clean green leather clad place, you can’t keep buying pencils as they are a whopping 35p each (at the British Library)…now the mechanical pencil shines in its silvery spotlight. It owns those rules and says I defy you!

Not only can I dispel my dislike of mechanical pencils but I can also stop thinking my tutor is a noodle for having such a fancy one, in a I’ve clearly tried very hard to find this mechanical pencil kind of way. He must go to these libraries a lot and nobody wants to research holding a pink slightly glittery mechanical pencil obviously made for girls and from WHSmiths. I am now actually rather jealous of his fancy mechanical pencil – this does not detract from the fact that he could write much neater with it. Paperchase, Euston Station: I hope you stock mechanical pencils! (Paperchase does stock mechanical pencils, lots of them. Mine has dots on)

I bumped into an American couple whilst looking for the British Library. I was stood outside Euston Station and they were looking for a way in. I didn’t get it at the time but if you’ve never been before and you stand on Euston Road where the train station is located and you’re standing under several signs that claim you are at Euston Station and yet all you see is a big black building with lots of big red buses. Hmm this can’t be right. You wonder to the right of the building ‘Euston Station left’, you wonder to the left of the building ‘Euston Station right’. No wonder the poor American women deplored of me ‘how do we get in?!’

I only know because I wandered out of the station in the morning and wandered back the same way…and that’s when I realised! There is a very small archway, compared to the big black bus building, behind a tree or two, in the said building which you go throoough to get to the station. It’s behind it!! Oh, duh! And there is the door, big and bold, with the huge sign you expected to see in the first place from the road. I am in the right place I haven’t gone mad. But seriously, how is anyone expected to know that? The English would continue in their search for the station because they trust their fellow citizens and the signs they put up, no matter how misleading they appear. Others however have no reason to be so confident. Now it is understandable why the road is covered with train station signs when there is no station apparent, for if they weren’t there then nobody would have a clue it was even there to find.

Fake it baby, they won't even know/I'm just a slave to it all

2009-03-27T18:16:00.000Z

That's the way to go.

Apparently.

I've been mightly fed up of my society filters working over time. Did you even know you had, or were using, society filters?

I don't know the official term, or even if there is one! I have dubbed it filtering society. I sub-consciously filter out all the rubbish that bombards my senses everyday. I just don't see it. It doesn't register in my brain, and I have no recollection of it later. I reckon everybody does it. I notice every now and then.

It mainly applies to adverts these days. There are so many, everywhere you look. I totally zone out when adverts come on the tele, it's a bit extreme really. I'm like a zombie! I could be making a cuppa or chatting or anything! But I'm too bust ignoring the tele! How stupid.

Some filtering is more conscious for me. Reading the news for example, I ignore all the mass-media 'science', I mean I read it as it's best to know what potty things they are saying, but I dismiss it. All those 'studies' claiming random things, I mean do they expect people to believe this stuff? I stopped watching the news too, it's so enormously depressing! I miss knowing what is going on but the media portray stuff in such a screwed-up fashion... I think I might turn back to reading. Newspapers, books, magazines, I don't know if they are any better but I can choose not to read the stuff that I don't like.

That sort of ties in with a recent realisation - I hate it when people use technology for something they don't need to use it for. Like the electric toothbrush. It seems to be purely for the hell of it. I mean reading the news instead of watching it on TV is the extreme end but you get my point. Just because the tele is there doesn't mean it's the best way.

This train of thought gave me another idea, I love books so why not work in publishing? I did a bit of investigating and I do hate it when they say it's 'competitive'. It puts me right off. But that's no reason not to get a job in a certain feild. I'm just scared, it's dog eat dog out there! What do you think? Can you see me working in publishing? It could be editting, proofreading, design! Some book covers are naff, I could be good at that. Thoughts?

It sorta makes me think maybe I should have done an Enlgish Lit degree...nah I have loved the time I've spent studying history! It muchly rocked :) I need experience as always with publishing...it sounds a bit insane - yes I've published three books this year, one was very successful! Hahaha yeah right. Experience meaning I've been a good assisstant to someone who would bother to recommend me. Sigh, if that's the way.

This publishing thing is just an idea by the way! It's no definate. A trip to the smelly careers desk for me. Which remind me, another idea of career path I have is archeology! Sounds exciting, eh?! I need to know if I can handle those long, rainy days though! And I found my chance - a guy in the Classics department at uni is asking for volunteers to help at an excuvation of Oystermouth Castle! Whooooop!! :D that's just down the road by the way, and it's a castle, I like them! Plus, it's Wales, it's so gonna rain.

Oh my, how I ramble.

Craig's Neon 21st: A Snippet

2009-03-23T16:19:00.001Z

Risotto and Word Counts

2009-03-23T12:13:00.000Z

I have my morning coffee, my coloured sticky dots, and the thoughts to co-ordinate with them. My target: 2000 words a day for the next four days.
Yellow dots mean there is a link between two ideas. I had to number them though so I knew which idea was linked to which yellow dot. It reads 3 2 1 1 2 3 across the page! Hehe. I'm hoping there will be more than three soon!

I tried making risotto again last night. I've made it a few times but I haven't got it right yet. Normally I cook the ingredients first (like mushrooms, peppers, leek) and then put the rice and stock in after. But recently I've seen risottos made on TV and they always fry the rice in onions and put the stock in first. So I did that and I still haven't done it right but it's getting closer! Firstly, I didn't cook it for long enough, so it was a bit chewy and secondly, I put the mushrooms in too soon so that they stole the stock that hadn't soaked into the rice yet. I know what to do for next time though!

I've also been using up a clove of garlic that is in the cupboard. I love garlic but chopping it properly means my hands reeks of garlic for days! Muchly yuk! I started not chopping it much so I didn't have to get garlic on my hand, but this means I get lumps of garlic randomly in mouthfuls, which is a bit surprising and too much! What to do?! I see why people have a garlic crusher, I might use it.

Back to the wonderful world of seventeenth century coffeehouses.

Byeeee.

Ruth
( I would like to sign off with a nickname but nobody calls me by one, so it would be a bit sad hehe)

I have a blog!

2009-03-22T00:51:00.000Z

Hello,

The other day, I learnt what 'blog' actually means. I therefore desided I could have one now that I know what it means! Weblog, by the way, but I might be the only person who didn't know that.

This is, I suppose, another thing that has come out of me leaving Facebook. I've moved on to new things! Well actually I've become a mascot for Google instead. Sigh.

I'm well confused by this blogger thing, I don't understand the meaning of most of the settings and I appear to have a dashboard...excuse me for thinking they were only in cars!

There isn't anything much to report from today. I caught up on stuff. Like sleep...and neighbours. Who died in the rafting accident? Will Bridget's baby be ok? Will Libby ever get over herself? Can you get on with that new actress? No, me neither!
OMG, I'm glad my day was simple and ordinary.

Oh! I made macaroons! I attempted coconut ones. I used to have an awesome recipe but I've lost it. So these ones didn't turn out very well. Far too much coconut. Oh well, Rhodri will eat them. I had fun dissolving rice paper on my tongue :)

I half wish there was a Star Trek option on here, so blogs would be labeled Stardate blah blah blah :D

Goodnight xox